The Radicalization of the Soul

There come these moments in life when you just have to look yourself in the mirror–right into your own eyes–and ask, “Am I really willing to fucking do this?” And you have to listen when your eyes say yes, put on your big girl panties, and thicken your skin. Because the shit that your soul wants doesn’t come easily. It comes with pain. It comes with controversy. It comes with misunderstandings and bullshit. But you somehow know that it’s all happening because you’re bumping up again a system. You’re bumping up against the beast. You’re bumping up again the thing you’ve waited your whole life to change.

You were born for this. This is why you live.

So fucking live.

 

I Want You

Last night, I snuggled my nephew Gehrig as he fell to sleep. At one point, I whispered to him that I was going to my own bed. He rolled over, wrapped his arms around my neck, pulled me close and whispered, “But Auntie Annie, I want you.”

It was so sweet. So pure.

No neediness. No clinginess. No angst. He simply wanted me. Me. There with him.

I stayed with him a while longer until he fell to sleep. Then I moved to my bed across the room and went to sleep myself, filled with love for this sweet little guy.

I woke up this morning and read the news. You know how that can be. Another black man shot. Another group of people afraid of Trump. Another bombing. Another this. Another that. Another “Fuck!” Another “Oh my God.” Another “What can I do?”

Yesterday, my friend was a victim of racism in “post-apartheid” South Africa. He was strong and proud, and he said “NO. This shall not be.” He said no to judgement. He said no to inequality. He said no to poor treatment. He wants equality, respect, and freedom.

That same friend told me today that he misses reading my blogs. He wants my words. He wants me to share.

And so I’m sharing.

I’m sharing that I want you, black men—that you and your lives are important to me and that I will fight to keep you safe and alive.

I’m sharing that I want you, women of color—that I see who you are and that I will fight for the removal of your shackles.

I’m sharing that I want you, immigrants—that I want you to survive and thrive and that I will fight for your freedom.

I’m sharing that I want you, activists disappeared by the state—that i treasure your contribution and that I will fight for your justice and cause.

I’m sharing that I want you, Muslims—that I see your faith and that I will fight for your protection, distinction, and honor.

I’m sharing that I want you, child soldiers—that I see your innocence and that I will fight for your healing and freedom.

I’m sharing that I want you, lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgendered, and queers—that I am your ally and that I will fight for your rights, security, and protection.

I’m sharing that I want you, people living in poverty—that I see your struggle and that I will fight for your wealth, your health, and your security.

I’m sharing that I want you, powerful women—that you are strong, intelligent, and necessary.

I’m sharing that I want you, powerful men—that you are valued, treasured, and important.

I’m sharing that I want you, powerful children—that you are wise, protected, and free.

I’m sharing that I want you humanity—that I want you to emerge from the hate, the fear, the murder, and the rape, and to wrap your arms around us.

We want you, humanity.

We want you, love.

We want you, equality.

We want you, global health.

We want you, global security.

We want you, global freedom.

We want you.

We want.

In love and liminality,

Annie Rose