This morning, my yoga teacher said that the beauty of yoga is that it meets you exactly where you are but never leaves you there.

You arrive on your mat, you breathe, and you notice your body, your thoughts, and whatever calls your attention. You notice where you are, and you begin your practice from there. You begin with your level of energy, your strength, your flexibility, and your state of mind. Even if you don’t know where you are, you still begin from exactly where you are. None of us has any other choice.

Life is the same way. Each day begins from exactly where you are right now. Each action you take, each word you speak, each thought you think, begins from exactly where you are. That is the nature of biology. It is alive in the moment, not in the past. It does its thing right now, not in the future. And we are expressions of our biology.

Knowing where you’re starting is the same thing as knowing what’s so.

As I cleaned stuff up yesterday, I got more and more related to what’s so. I got clear about the dynamics in one of my most treasured relationships, clear about my financial state, and clear about my stand and authentic voice in a challenging matter.

I feel even more connected to my dear friend.

I am totally anxious about money.

And I am firmly rooted in my personal integrity and commitment in regards to the challenging matter.

Not every issue is resolved, but I’m profoundly related to what’s so, and I know exactly where I’m starting.

Last night, knowing where I was starting looked like a combination of happiness and tears. It looked like power and tenderness; strength and fear. But it all happened right then, right there, and in that moment. I felt so alive and present last night, even if I was weepy.

I’m learning that none of this cleaning-stuff-up business is designed to make me happy. None of it’s designed to keep me safe. None of it’s designed to make me more money or solve my problems. It’s all, I’m realizing, designed to give me the freedom, power, and stability that arises when I’m profoundly connected to where I am.

And when I clean stuff up, I engage in my practice. I take my yoga off of the mat and into the world. I meet myself and my life exactly where we are, and I take actions to move us from here to there. My new “there” of course becomes my new “here”, and I engage in yet another opportunity to notice exactly where I am.

Life is nothing but a series of moving from here to there, and it takes awareness to distinguish where we are in any given moment. No moment is the same as the last. No moment is secure in the future. We are living and breathing moment to moments, and we transform as life transforms.

We can begin to be present of this movement and stand firm in its action by cleaning stuff up.

All we have to do is start.

Lessons Learned on the Court Yesterday

For every manipulative asshole in the world, there is a plethora of kind and generous souls, and I am surrounded by them. I am blessed.

I’ve made good movement in my life, and I’m proud of myself.

Cleaning stuff up is not as easy as I thought it would be, and I must allow time for crying, talking to friends, and moving through whatever comes up.

In love and liminality,

Annie Rose