Having a specific context for my life is really empowering. Every time I get scattered, overwhelmed, or disoriented, I return to my intention to clean stuff up.

Cleaning stuff up has taken me on a ride this week. I’ve had to be someone I didn’t know myself to be, and I’ve had to put one foot in front of the other in the face of challenges and discomfort.

To keep myself moving, I’ve reached out to lots of people this week. Normally, when I’m challenged or sad, I withdraw and go into hiding. I lock myself in a room, avoid phone calls, and keep to myself. But this week, because I had an intention, and because I gave my word to myself and others to keep writing my blog, I kept in touch and continued taking action, even when my legs got wobbly.

I called my friend Elizabeth about 19,000 times. Thank you, sister, for your humor, your wisdom, and encouraging me to say “fuck” a lot.

I opened my heart to my friend Shoshanna. Thank you, Sholuna, for making me laugh, reminding me to access my awareness, and standing by my side.

I left a weepy and completely honest voicemail for my friend Jennifer. Thank you, JHaz, for always listening to me and always loving me.

I talked to Friendy/Wilson/Schmoop-Dawg twice within a couple of days (a small miracle for two people who do not like talking on the phone). Thank you, Christine, for your grounding presence, partnership, and sisterhood.

I went to yoga with eyes red from crying and, instead of trying to hide, I let myself be loved and cared for by my friends. Thank you Jeff, Robert, and Anthony for noticing I was having a tough day and for being so sweet.

I kept in touch with my friend Zolani, and his presence helped me be positive, empowered, and strong. Thank you, Zolani, for being wise, funny, and emotionally intelligent.

I got lots of great hugs from my mother-in-law, “Mamacita,” lots of support from my dedicated dad, and lots of comfort from my devoted brother (who I’m not sure even knew I needed comfort). Thank you, my wonderful family.

I got to enjoy the steady and loving presence of my husband, John, and to know that he had my back as I moved through some weird bullshit. Thank you, JB, for being my husband and reminding me to stand for justice.

I took tons of actions this week, and I’ll take many more tomorrow as I complete my adventure in cleaning stuff up. I can feel myself growing, stretching, and settling into peace, and I’m astutely aware that I’m never alone.

I’m so incredibly grateful.

Lessons Learned Today

• Some truly great people have my back.
• I am more strong and graceful than I know.
• I can always control whether or not I live according to my own values and in service to my own integrity. Honoring myself and my word is truly the one thing over which I have control. Being who I am brings me incredible strength and power.

In love and liminality,

Annie Rose