Cleaning Stuff Up II: Knowing What’s So

I often resist cleaning stuff up because sometimes I’d rather avoid the truth of the matter.

I’d rather imagine how far my money will take me than know how little I have.

I’d rather assume that I’m getting paid by a client than know for sure that I’m not.

I’d rather enjoy comfort in my relationships than ruffle feathers and hurt someone I love.

I think that the hardest part of cleaning stuff up is taking the first step. It’s logging into my bank account and calculating my expenses. Dialing the numbers on the phone and hitting ‘call.’ Telling someone I have to talk to them and hearing their concern. It’s noticing the piles of messes in my living space and deciding where to start. It’s carving out time to tend to my car and sticking to my plan. It’s resolving to risk my heart and to challenge my perspectives. It’s choosing to jump into what might be an ice-cold pool.

It takes dedication to look squarely in the eyes of objective truth, and it takes humility to address my subjective responses.

It takes presence to determine where to start.

It takes grit to know when to stop.

It takes courage to speak my truth, and it takes muscle to dig for what’s authentic.

It takes being vulnerable to lay it all out there…

…and it takes patience to see what results.

It ain’t easy.

But knowing what’s so and landing ourselves squarely in life as it actually is, is where our truest power resides. It is where love lives. It is where curiosity lives. It is where connection lives. It is where authentic expression lives. It is where you, in all your you-ness, lives. It is where what’s truly worthy of your life lives.

So what audacity, dedication, and prowess can we bring to the tables of our lives today? Where can we take our first steps? Where can we take even one tiny action?

Lesson Learned on Day 1 of Cleaning Stuff Up:

My people who are my people will stand by my side and love me, honor me, and call me out on my shit.

In love and liminality,

Annie Rose

3 thoughts on “Cleaning Stuff Up II: Knowing What’s So

  1. But knowing what’s so and landing ourselves squarely in life as it actually is.

    If one truly gets this, it is the key to satisfaction, acceptance, and happiness.

  2. Ahhhh, sweet post. I fear I’m becoming an addict of your writing. Thank you, thank you for posting…such words of genius and heart. It ain’t easy, no siree. But I love knowing I’m not alone…and that I have your words as guides. I like what Kirk says, too. In the vein of getting present to what is so, I’d like to share my new motto (which I picked up writing a grant for drug-free communities): “What gets measured, gets better.” I think we can all agree, this motto can be applied to ANYTHING. 🙂 ( Ok, enough horsing around…back to my version of ‘cleaning up.’)

  3. Well said…as always. Isn’t is great to have friends who will point out things to you in a loving way, of course. Sometimes, bluntly but honestly..so you can improve and maybe discover something you didn’t know about yourself. I still have trouble returning that favor…so concerned about hurt feelings. I still walk on egg shells around certain people.

    Love you, Aunt Cathy

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