Last week was kind of wanky. I had a moody and weepy weekend followed by a week of wanting to shrivel up and retreat. Then I gained some insight into authenticity and had a bit more room to breathe. Once I started to unpack my new home, however, all kinds of uncomfortable feelings emerged. I could feel myself shrinking with every box I opened. I could sense myself feeling more and more trapped.

In part, I was feeling overwhelmed by things. 95% of my stuff has been in storage for the better part of a year. Last May, I carried just 14 pounds of stuff on my pilgrimage. After that, I lived out of a couple of suitcases and boxes. I’ve gotten used to having few things, and I actually really enjoyed it.

Now I’ve got lots of stuff. Dishes. Pots and pans. Linens. Clothes. So many clothes! Bathroom toiletries. Back-up bathroom toiletries. Lamps. Rugs. Art. Altar items. And so much more! I’ve always been pretty intentional in terms of what I buy and keep, and I love what I have, but I do feel distinctly heavy having it.

I’ve also been following what’s familiar. I’ve been taking actions consistent with the kinds of actions I’ve taken in the past. I’ve been easily and naturally following the Annie Rose trajectory that is as familiar to me as the back of my hand. I’ve basically been putting structures back into place that support the old me. I’ve been returning to a life I once lived. It was a wonderful life, but it is not the life in front of me now.

I’ve been given this incredible opportunity to invent myself newly. I’m without an established career, I’ve just moved to a new city, and I have a new house. I have a blank slate on which to create. I can choose to fill my actual and metaphorical home with stuff that returns me to my past and makes me heavy, or I can fill them stuff that propels me into the future and makes me light and free.

I choose lightness and freedom. My heart chooses them. My mind chooses them. My life chooses them.

This week I am embarking on a journey into lightness and freedom. In particular, I’m focusing on the following:

• Creating a structural (physical) environment that supports and calls for my self-expression
• Refining my diet and exercise routine for a healthy, happy, and light body
• Practicing discernment and awareness as I give my word to people and opportunities
• Tapping into my hidden dreams and deepest desires
• Creating a plan to pursue my dreams and deepest desires
• Listening for what the world wants from me that is mine to give

Some structures I’m putting into place are:

• Daily yoga (Monday-Friday)
• Daily walks, runs, or surf-sessions (Monday-Friday)
• Eating impeccably (Monday-Friday)
• Unpacking the stuff that I absolutely love and that fully supports my self-expression; putting stuff that doesn’t light me up back into the garage (or giving it away)
• Completing with people and activities that I’ve given my word to that are not my self-expression
• Journaling and exploring some of my deepest desires
• Doing my Landmark homework for my Money seminar thoroughly and with integrity
• Designing the rooms in my house to call me into divine action

In love and liminality,

Annie Rose