PART 1

Where in life am I resisting?

Where in life am I not honoring the process?

I tend to love beginnings and endings. I love the space of creation and the celebration of completion. I love the idea of things, and I love accomplishment. The in-between sometimes gets a little rough.

I’m challenged by the spaces where patience and endurance are key.

I counteract my tendency to bow out in the middle through structure. I take yoga classes so that I don’t quit the moment inspiration fails. I run to somewhere so that I can’t quit mid-lap or get off the treadmill. I clean temptation out of the house so that I can’t eat cookies mid-cleanse. I give my word and create accountability so that I’ll do what I want to do even when I don’t want to. Much of my life is a series of life-hacks designed to support me through the middle.

I also do things to avoid the middle. I make decisions. I search for answers. I eliminate gray areas. I asked for clarity. I require promises. These and other things give me the illusion of a clear outcome. They make me feel like I’m safe and in control.

I’m starting to notice the impact that not being in the middle has on my life. I’m sad. I’m anxious. I’m confused. I’m bored. I’m waiting for some other day. I forget to be present. I forget to be loving. I forget to honor the beautiful insights and experiences that belong distinctly to the in-between. I miss out on the textures and nuances of life.

This isn’t always the case, of course, but it’s happening right now in some important areas of my life. I’m trying to skip the middle and get to the end where I’m clear, certain, and accomplished.

I’d like to stop, breathe, and learn a little something about being in the middle. I’d like to live in the middle.

This week I’m practicing being in the middle and honoring the process. I’m exercising patience, curiosity, and endurance. I’m practicing being right here with exactly what’s so.

In love and liminality,

Annie Rose